I have been meaning to write something about this for a longgggggg time… But hadn’t the time or insolence to do that..Well the time for publishing this draft has finally come.. I know.. many of those who have finished college may get nostalgic..The others still stuck here would nod in agreement..while the rest of the ill-fated ones (having more than a year to get outta here) may wonder if this is what this is supposed to be ..Not to mention the faculty who might as well thrash me,lest they read this Disclaimer : The views expressed are incidents from the author’s acquaintances’ real life incidents,though it may or not be from the same insti as the author’s from.
And ps: dont forget to download the pdf @ the end!
The illustrations are reproduced from Phdcomics – My source of enjoyment , in boring lab hours ! Not heeding the warning tag in the archive section,I have read most of it and it was good fun!
Presenting the Stark reality : behind-the-scenes of every Project Thesis … *drum roll*
This is how every Final Grad student’s normal final semester begins :
The Big Boss (usually the Head of the department / the one in-charge of project sessions announces the thesis agenda in a timeline.Possibly giving the deadlines for the various stages of the project,such as – title defense,review 0 thru 2,Final review,viva voce blah blah stuff)
The clouds and the heavens(of the WWW,usually,as in TODAY’s case) open up and we get a thesis topic!Day and Night you toil to decipher the paper your work is based on.
The Noon lab session : Fiesta / Siesta (happens every noon)
Its amazing what lunch can do to you…However hard you try – you just can’t stifle those yawns and keep that somnolence at bay! SH!t !!
Although ,this isn’t the case(drinking caffeine to overcome the siesta) with most students – If you feel sleepy,then jus doze off…there’s nothing to loose, hiding it.
Well well well…so at last you prepare for your title defense and hand over your draft to your mentor,who usually discusses about the grammatical errors in the abstract and sometime even those line spacing and the like.These people are the real busy ones – they don’t have time to even skim through the work you’ve put down in writing,and simply take you for granted- I would never have put up with such a mentor,even tho’ putting up with him/her would’ve been the final resort (btw, My mentor is the best! )
After the title defence / review 0 : Its time for a celebration,if you’re thru with all those dumb/deliberately obtuse quips/questions put down by those cynical people.(Boy! That is an ordeal !) And even if you didn’t get thru’ Nobody cares a damn about that – Party all night (Below : Celebrations,the Geek way )
I love the tag : zero times two is still zero! good one
Well then..you move on to stage 2 : Meeting your mentor time and again and proceeding with the researching stuff…Only bad thing is : Your mentor (in most cases) don’t have a clue what they are you are up to ! This stage you usually try to cook up the design and approach pattern to solve the problem under study.
“Geez !!! How ever did they become teaching staff?? ” ,you wonder! I get reminded of a particular incident that happened a while ago(name,location : modified for privacy)
Ms.Shiny’s set of students were showing their advances in their project(a normal slide show) As always, an intercom call comes in the way and while the poor souls are waiting for her Majesty to come back and take a look(Sheesh ! that’s all that is done) - the screen saver pops up by the time she then hangs up on the call -she now comes and wants to pop back the PC display screen (pity she doesn’t know a simple mouse gesture would have done the trick)-so there she goes : searching for the “ENTER” key on the keyboard and hitting it exactly once !! *exasperated * ! This is just one such dumb sample.There are usually corrections in the form of spelling mistakes of the Mentor’s name ,their educational qualifications(students put these up too , in the title slide)
Some timeframe in mid stage 2 :
Days before the review :
you are really screwed
Just out of curiosity …….
Here comes the really true part,something everyone would have experienced…… CODE INCORRECT.How many time have you wished that ,this one error would vanish !!! Only making you all the more insane – All over a single buggy bug!! Arrghhhh.And when that one thing clears – Man !!! Hi5 s all over the place and whooho’s ,…until you realise even then the piece of code doesn’t work the way it was intended to – and then you go making the logical analysis and stuff!!! This is the hardwork part -and requires a whole lotta patience and the virtue of keeping your cool at all times.I was once,literally, seen clasping my hands and begging my IIS – virtual directory error to vanish .I especially hate the typo errors(they are much harder to find) & the human glitches! Here in my insti ,however we have been blessed with a bunch of programmer material – they were of great help.
Someday,somehow,someway,everyone becomes Super-person and guess what??? Presto – The project is Completed! Phew *sigh of relief*
Were you looking for a THats All Folks / The End sign???
Hang on – You haven’t heard the funniest part yet The Review by the best brains in the dept,all packed together in one place,where they shoot their questions aimlessly at you.Let me not go over this..See these links – they are proof enough & Interesting – Free laughs guaranteed !
As of now, I’m in the stage where we gotta work on documenting everything concerning the project that was undertaken – Pretty boring and hardwork for the lazy bum team ,that I am in(including myself)
My final review and viva voce is queued ! Hope everything goes well!
Hey ,And one more thing before you close this tab : Take a look at this PDF (available for free download)
I command every student and every other interested person doing projects to look into it – Has loads of great advice and lists the etiquette ! Makes a good read.So do download this 86Kb beauty and read it
P.S : Any such gags from your institutions are welcome to be posted in the comment section